Because What You Really Needed Was A Medical Update

Top 10 Things That Seem To Strain The Stitches In A Rather Alarming, Something-In-There-Is-Going-To-Burst Kind Of Way:

10. Chewing
9. Swallowing
8. Smiling
7. Laughing
6. Talking to others on the phone
5. Talking to others in person
4. Flipping my head over really fast to wrap my wet hair in a towel
3. Opening jars with sticky lids
2. Moving heavy furniture around my classroom
1. Sneezing

Clearly in the past three days I haven't had any fun at all.

But that's not really true. I mean, it's "fun" knowing that I'll never have to have my wisdom teeth out again; it was "fun" waking up in the middle of surgery to feel the doctor yanking away at that bottom left one (not that there was pain exactly, but the memory of that weird pressure is enough to start the chills a-rollin'); it's "fun" being able to feel again that rather large patch of skin up by my left temple that was mysteriously numb for the first 18 hours after I woke up; it's "fun" carrying around the aroma of frozen peas in my skin after holding the bag up to my face for hours and hours; and it will really be fun being able to brush my teeth like a normal person (all the way to the back and with vigor!).

The smiling is really the only bad part. I don't mind the ice cream and guilt-free hours on the couch catching up on my New Yorkers and Bravo programming. But the way I keep making myself bleed when I smile is pretty annoying. I guess didn't realize I did that so often and so unconsciously until my face forced me to stop entirely. I went out yesterday and tried going to the bank and the grocery store without smiling when I thanked the clerk, and then of course the thought of how silly I must look struck me as hilarious so I grinned all the way back to the car anyway. My gums must hate me.