Last night I stayed up until almost 3am watching Brick. I started it at 11:30 and it was only supposed to be two hours long, but it was so good that I kept pausing it after parts that I especially like, to let them sink in and kind of sigh over them a little bit. Plus I had to stop to investigate the strange clicking sound that my refrigerator was emitting - regularly and inexplicably, and to make snacks and bake cookies and change into pajamas and engage in every other possible distraction. Staying up late was probably a bad choice, because today I'm all tired and out of whack. Danny and I went to Scheuler today to make fun of books and eat and things. My skin always crawls a little when I go in there; I half-way imagine I'm going to see people I don't want to see popping out from behind a bookshelf, even though they're probably in Ann Arbor or on Mars or somewhere equally far and safely away. Still, I don't like it. But we were there and my point was that coffee was necessary, which it usually isn't with me, but today it was because I stayed up so late.

I've been especially clumsy all weekend, banging into corners and dropping numerous jars, utensils, bottles, clothes, you name it. I think it's because I'm subconsciously nervous about the new semester starting. I had my kids do an evaluation at the end of last semester, and they almost unanimously said they thought I should be stricter. So I'll be trying that starting Monday. But I don't really want to talk about school and my inability to manage my classroom. I'm tired of talking about that.

It was suggested to me that I be more candid here, and kind of let loose and say what I'm really thinking. At first I insisted that I held back because I thought people wouldn't like me anymore if they knew what I really thought about things, but the more I thought about it, I realized that the reason I censor myself has more to do with trust than anything else. Those of you who know me well do know how I feel about things like school and boys and life in general, because we talk about them when we're together. I don't need the strangers who wander by here (or the opposite - the people we talk about when we discuss school and boys and life) knowing my most personal thoughts and feelings, because they will be getting all of that information out of context and almost certainly drawing incorrect conclusions, which doesn't do anybody any good. So I have elected to keep things fluffy here in print, and save the heavy stuff for real life talking and the paper journal of course (except for the occasional Judy rant or a "Teaching is hard and makes me tired" eruption).

And speaking of not judging people when we find out things we didn't know about them...did anyone else see the picture on facebook of Ryan Bonneville smoking? I mean, What?!

And speaking of fluffy, I have a question. What would you do for five dollars? Danny was taking a poll the other day, and I thought of a few good answers, but then I kind of ran dry. I was also surprised at how my personal values were kind of revealed through what I would and would not do for money. I might turn this into a kind of creative writing assignment were my kids have to characterize a fictional person by listing what they would and would not do for a certain amount of money. I noticed that a lot of the things I came up with involved eating things, licking things, or putting things in my mouth. Also, it was easier to think of things I wouldn't do for five dollars rather than things I would. Or I could think of things I'd do for twenty dollars, but not for five. Here's my list...help me add to it if you can, or tell me what you'd do for five dollars (I hate it when blogs turn into requests for reader participation, so don't feel obliged...I'm just curious). Anyway, my list:

For five dollars I would eat a pound of peanut butter
For five dollars I would lick my shoe
For five dollars I would chew somebody else's used gum
For five dollars I would pick my nose
For five dollars I would sing you a dirty song
For five dollars I would tell you a dirty secret
For five dollars I would superglue my fingers together
For five dollars I would say inappropriate things to a stranger

(And just for the record...)
For five dollars I would not do anything that involved getting naked
For five dollars I would not sing karaoke
For five dollars I would not tell a malicious lie
For five dollars I would not physically hurt anyone else
For five dollars I would not eat something that I believed would make me sick